occasional blog posts on life, love and meaning-making
Because life happens
Jane McCampbell Stuart is a therapist, coach and trauma-healer extraordinaire.
She works with clients from across the globe, healing trauma, encouraging relationally and helping all of us become the very best version of ourselves.
Occasionally she finds space to share thoughts and reflections here.
If we’re going to talk boundaries, we might as well start with driving. My driving, your driving, and especially everyone else’s driving. The late comedian George Carlin famously quipped that “anyone who’s driving slower than you is an...
On February 3, 2015, I bought a mug in a hotel gift shop. While I took my time choosing my favorite, the purchase was not in any way intended to be auspicious. It was simply that I was staying for a week-long training, and I needed something bigger...
“No Jane, I did NOT leave the color on too long, and if you don’t like it, that’s on you not me,” Mindi snapped, stomping her Doc Martens across the tiny salon. Despite the multiple sizzling come-backs I could have offered, I held my tongue....
https://alicedaltonbrown.net
Many of my clients have been noticing the change in the office behind me, and have been asking about our move. And there’s an interesting story behind the place where we find ourselves, which – for a variety of reasons – I’ve been...
Murray Bowen, one of the fathers of family therapy, believed that we all marry someone of the same “level of differentiation” as ourselves. What this means in layman’s terms is that while our stuff may manifest differently from...
“You can be right or you can be married” is a saying of the famous couples therapist, Terry Real*. He even goes so far as to list “being right” as the first of five losing strategies. Yet it’s also one of the most...
“Those who ask don’t get, and those who don’t ask, don’t want!” This was one of my grandfather’s favorite sayings; albeit delivered with a twinkle in his eye, but delivered nonetheless – mostly when he caught my siblings and I...
It’s the day before Thanksgiving 2020. In previous years I’d have been delivering after-dinner speeches on “Surviving the Holidays”, quipping that Thanksgiving keeps therapists in business. I’d be adding client hours to my calendar to...
As a licensed therapist who recently became a certified coach, I am frequently asked to explain the difference between therapy and coaching. Sometimes I can’t tell if the enquirer is genuinely interested or merely being polite, so I have a few...
Is this all there is? It’s the question we dare not ask ourselves, for fear of where it may lead. When nothing is explicitly wrong and there’s plenty to feel thankful for, we find ourselves feeling guilty for acknowledging that maybe – just...
There are many factors at play in choosing the right therapist for you. The most obvious are logistical, such as location, cost, insurance coverage and appointment availability, but there are a number of other important issues that are vital to...
Gadget recommendations Recommendations on books about couple and family relationships Books about the brain and healing from trauma Books to deepen our thinking and wonder and change how we live our lives Frequently recommended Apps Andrew...
All living bodies are predisposed towards healing. If we have a cut or a bruise or even a sprained ankle, our bodies will usually be able to repair themselves, whether or not we understand how. Sometimes, with more serious injuries, our bodies need...
Nightmares, flashbacks, hyper vigilance and insomnia are all typical symptoms of trauma and post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). But while most sufferers believe that there must be something “wrong” with them, the symptoms are actually...
Although PTSD (posttraumatic stress disorder) is a condition typically associated with returning military personnel, it is important to recognize that many of us suffer from the impact of trauma, whether or not we realize it or know where it...
“Everything that happens once can never happen again. But everything that happens twice will surely happen a third time”. Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist Panic disorder is an extremely debilitating condition. Many sufferers report symptoms...
Understanding phobias If you have a phobia – be it of needles, heights, snakes or public speaking – you have likely learned to keep it to yourself. That probably has something to do with the fact that on the one occasion you quietly disclosed...
TFT seems complex at first glance, but most people choose one or two favorite routines and learn them after just a few times through. On this page, you can download instructions as a PDF file or watch a video of Jane walking you through the process....
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